Open Jobs:
THERE WILL BE SALES.
Do you have a quick minute? Needless to say, we’re gonna be honest because we know you have a lot on your plate. This is just a quick touch-point so we can sync up and get our ducks in a row. We’ve been chewing on this for a while, but it’s time we spoke our piece:
Do you get tingles thinking about lighting, LED video and production? Are you good at convincing people to do stupid things with their hard-earned money? Do you, yourself, like making money? Is uttering the phrase “I drink your milkshake” one of your life goals? Well, good. Then send us your resume. [email protected].
Because we’re looking for people to sell our products.
Anyways, When push comes to shove, the customer comes first, amirite? No, but the customer always is, or something. Ugh, this is such a “spinach in the teeth moment” for us. We’re out of lockstep with our five-year-soup-to-nuts-go-to-market-plan-of-attack-to-hit-the-ground-running-game-changer-it-is-what-it-is-water-under-the-bridge-we-ran-the-numbers-and-got-a-view-from-30,000-feet-but-it-looks-like-we-dropped-the-ball-by-putting-the-cart-before-the-horse-because-our-two-cents-told-us-we-need-to-find-the-missing-piece-of-the-puzzle.
Just send your resume. [email protected]
Put up or shut up. Put your best foot forward. We need more feet on the street. Literally. This is where the rubber meets the road. If you ever won a set of steak knives, hit the bricks, pal.
It’s time to light a fire, put our team-player noses to the grindstone, sharpen our pencils, crunch the numbers and get the ball rolling with our game faces on, so bring your A-game.
Full-time, salary+commission, medical, dental, 401(k), access to company jet (if we ever get one), we’re the greatest, no really, that part is true, just send us your resume. [email protected].
Do it now. Daylight’s burning. No time like the present. Step up to the plate. #blackswanevent.
Stop reading. Send your resume. [email protected]
Blizzard Lighting, LLC
Hey! We’re Blizzard Lighting, LLC! We’re one of the World’s leading manufacturers of professional LED lighting and video wall equipment. Glad to meet you.
We’re growing, baby! And we’re looking for experienced Product Managers to design, develop and deliver elite pro lighting and video products to customers around the world.
Ideal candidates have previous product development/product management experience along with deep knowledge of the design and operation of professional and theatrical lighting and LED video equipment, and have considerable experience using products like ours IRL.
As a Blizzard PM, you’ll be responsible for the research and development of new professional lighting and video products and routinely collaborate with our marketing team to make sure we’re getting the word out on all of our product offerings. You’ll also be involved in training and upper-level technical support for the degens in sales. Pro tip: help them win that set of steak knives in the monthly sales contest, and they’ll be your bestie forever.
Are you interested? Of course, you are! And if you’re not, the people in charge here have forced me to include the following additional motivator to secure your application: “Imagine a workplace that is so bizarrely fulfilling and filled with such bizarre, fulfilling people that we all willingly come in when the forecast calls for 12 inches of snow in the next four hours. We call this experience ‘January.’” OK, well, yeah, that’s actually true.
Anyways – Send the usual (and unusual) stuff to [email protected]! Applicants who do not provide a resume will not be considered. Look at me making big threats now. Yeesh.
Blizzard Lighting, LLC